Love and Marriage

picture credit: blissfulydomestic.com

Hey guys, how are we doing? My days have been hot and cold, almost fell ill or maybe did a little but I'm good now. Anyway, it's been a while I just talked and I've been wanting to for a while now, but you know how these things are now, right? I'm here now, though :D. I ended last year marrying a cousin out and started this year marrying a friend out ( it sounds like I'm the one collecting the bride price, right? lol). Yeah, so the whole relationship and marriage topic started flowing around again for some time,  you  know the usual questions from every corner, those with the right to ask and those who have no business asking, "When are we coming for your own oh?", "| So, when are we meeting him now?" and the likes. Well, I think all of that inspired me to talk my talk today, so come with me and flow through my mind.

I don't really get what society wants or expects from us when it comes to the whole love, relationship and marriage thing. I don't know if they have the right to expect anything from us. If it's to increase population, there are ways... lol, I didn't say that. Seriously though, why would one feel pressure to get into a relationship or keep one that obviously shouldn't exist simply because they are expected to. It makes no sense to me one bit. I once read or rather glanced through a write up that was trying to buttress the point that at the end of the day, we all settle. It was a Christian blog, if I remember quite well. I was already getting all hot and defensive from the beginning of my read as the writer tried to let us know that it is "unchristian" to insist on marrying a certain kind of person. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm too old to be having Cinderella fantasies and all of that (I'm young oh, but too old for that, hehe). I agreed with the writer on a certain level, not in the entirety of the post, which I honestly can't remember clearly now. Anyway, my point is, I agree that at the end of the day, all who have gotten married, and this is my personal belief by the way, have had to settle, in the sense that no one is perfect. We all have flaws, which make us beautifully unique. You know those sweet talks couples give at the honeymoon stage of relationships (first few months), where they state out your flaw and they say how much they love you even more for it? Yeah, they probably mean what they say at that point in time but overtime, when the love gets to the "see finish" level, this same trait that you claimed to have endeared you to your partner in the past becomes something you fight about daily.

So yes, we all settle. However, I do insist that you settle wisely. You are going to be living with this one person for as long as forever, miracles do happen but God chooses which to perform so please do not deceive yourself that he/she will change. Ladies have been known to act in this level of foolishness, myself inclusive - yes, love does that to people, lol. Be certain that the flaws you see are flaws you can live with when they are multiplied. My sister-in-law always tells me, what you see in relationships will only get worse in the marriage, and this I have come to believe is true. So, that annoying character you see, can you live with an intensified version of that? I have always liked the saying "Love conquers all" but honestly I believe deep within that love isn't enough. I have seen this and experienced this too much to think otherwise. You see divorced couples who still love each other but have agreed to separate to keep their peace and sanity. It's not rocket science, every relationship gets to a stage where you can hardly feel any love, sometimes you know it's there but you just can't really feel it, like life has taken you guys through so much that love has been  tossed to the far behind. It is in times like this that you seek the reasoning friend, the understanding companion, who you could talk to about everything and if you can find him/her again in your partner, then you are one of the few blessed ones among us.

My final point (I think), live, love and be happy. There is no such thing as a perfect love, only God has that. Relationships/marriages require God, love, patience, understanding, compromise, acceptance, faith, trust and plenty other things (I'm not your counselor, lol). Don't be pushed into something you are not certain of. It is forever, choose wisely. At the end of the day, the people who kept asking you when they will finally meet him won't be living with you in your heavenly or hellish home, you'll be all alone and you deserve to be happy.

I've talked more than I planned to as usual but I have missed you too much so I don't mind. Till we talk again, stay true and happy. Lots of love.