The Marriage Ambition

picture from www.todayifoundout.com

Hello people. I didn't plan to talk about marriage today, but, today that has been the topic all around me. I'll give you a background summary of the marriage hits today. First, I read one of my favourite blogs-Tommyslav's Island where a woman's quest for love somehow led her into a troubled marriage, you should visit the site (if you don't already know it), she posts really interesting fictional stories weekly. The second was a real life discussion about a lady who has set up her wedding date with a man she met 5 months ago and the final was in church, we had a "Single and Fulfilled" sermon. 

I know many people have diverse views on marriage; what it is about, why it should be or why not, when and blah blah blah. I'll give my truth about the topic. Marriage is not a joking matter. It is a serious covenant between two people giving themselves to each other and meant to last forever. That being said, it is obvious that a matter like this should not be rushed into. Thinking about it, where are you rushing to? You go deh der tire!( Not tire in a bad way, hopefully). With all the love in the world between two people, they still encounter problems and struggles in their marriage-it happens and it's okay as long as their love and faith in their love can help them overcome the struggles. Now think of going through such struggles with a partner you barely know or someone you were pushed to marry for some silly reason. My dears, it's not a funny thing at all. Don't try it oh!

Don't get me wrong, I love happy marriages. Marriage is a beautiful thing with the right person and the right time. Have you seen cute old couples who still look at each other with those eyes of love, still blush at compliments, laugh and play together? That thing is a sweet something oh. I want that someday and I wish us all that love, joy and peace in our homes, but we have to work for it. Na so this life be oh, everything good requires work and patience. You never stop working to keep your home happy, there's no time to relax and take your partner for granted. Thankfully the work can be fun. 

I'm not here to tell you when to get married or how or to whom. I no be God. However, I am of the belief that it is very important to get to know your partner in all situations. Know how she acts when she's mad, know how he talks when he is hungry, know her reaction when you're smiling too much with that fine girl. I'm not saying you should go and test your partner oh. These are things that happen and must show at some point in your relationship. I'm simply saying, try to know all you can about your partner, the good and the bad and then weigh the outcome with your character. Can you live with this person? Devote your life and be happy with this person? Can you join your life with this one person and become one soul? If yes, then big congrats dear. 

Do not go into marriage because mum is tired or because you're getting old or because you're the first son or your friends are all married or you need to get out of this poverty or you're pregnant or that's just the next thing to do. It's a terrible way to start out. I know some people have gone in for some of these reasons and are happy but most of these happy homes went through hell to make it work. Not all of us are that strong and even if you are, why not make it easier by working it out first. One thing to know is people hardly change but there's a better chance for one to change before the marriage than in it. Don't deceive yourself, if you can't live with this person in the worst possible situations then you probably shouldn't be going in for that covenant. For a marriage to work you need a lot of ingredients most of all is God, God is love, you need mad love men, understanding, tolerance, patience, compatibility.... Can you imagine an accident ruining your wife's pretty face? Can you imagine your husband losing his ability to make love due to an accident and his ability to provide for the home? Can you imagine a childless home? Now, can you see yourself still loving your partner through all of these unfortunate situations? I can hear some "I reject it", Amen my brother and sister, me sef I reject it oh, but that's the fate of some people. That's what the "for worse" part of the wedding vows is for. That you promise to stick it out till the end, that it's ride or die. Can you do that? No be just to deh dance on wedding day oh, there's ever after and we all hope for a happily ever after but who are we kidding? Sh*t happens! Just make sure you can get out of it all smiles. 

Okay I don too talk sef. My point is, choose happiness and not status or title or society. Marriage can make you or break you. While you're still single, enjoy it! You won't have this freedom again when you get married, and that's not a bad thing. You would have to be thinking for two and later more (the kids). Just enjoy each stage of life to the fullest and most of all, stay happy!