Playing The Victim Card... in other ways...

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One of the few things that disgust me a great deal,  is people throwing in the victim card. Now, don’t get it twisted, I’ve found myself doing this many times. When realization hit me, I just got really pissed at myself so I went deeper to find out what triggers that act. I just had to find a way to stop it.  Now I’m so conscious of it,  but unfortunately,  I still find myself doing it from time to time and it leaves a really sour taste in my mouth. Here, I'm talking generally about people who feel like victims of life's hardships.

Playing the victim comes in different forms. Sometimes it comes as a form of defense mechanism;

“Yes, I have trust issues, blame it on daddy drama”

“I can’t read like you because unlike you, I had a poor background”

“ Not everyone is as rich as you to afford that kind of car”

You see, my major problem here is that, most times these responses are so uncalled for. The person may be asking a simple question or making a normal conversation with you or even trying to talk to you about something important to help you, but you just immediately take offense and feel attacked. Not just that, you in your “little mindedness” try to “strike back” and in doing that you feel the need to belittle yourself so that they feel bad about themselves and feel bad for you. I think this is the one that makes me most irritated except you are joking of course.  The thing is, even if you are, many times, there is a tinge of insecurity that pushes you to act that way. If it is something you can fix, then why not fix it and stop using it as an excuse every time you feel awkward in a conversation. If it isn’t, then quit making it all about your life, there should be more interesting things to talk about.

Another form of playing the victim is “I no better pass my neighbor”. The conversation goes like a competition to outdo the other in ensuring that you have successfully convinced the listener that you are in a worse situation than they are. Everybody complains about the economy but no, the sun is hotter on your side and everyone must know that. Why? By the way, sometimes it may be true, but why must you make it a point to drive the matter home down to the brain of the other and not because you are asking for help nor do you intend to, you probably don’t want them to come asking you for help right? It could start from a simple “ Oh boy, this your shoe is hot oh, you are enjoying Abuja money oh”,  and this statement makes you narrate your entire suffering in the hot city. Take a deep breath and relax, no one is after you.

The last form today would be the stylish beggars. You see, from the first two above, the people are not seeking for anything other than your pity (which is bad enough) but this one, they want something and they will give you history that you do not need, exaggerate matters like there’s no tomorrow so you must pity them and do something .  The worst part? It happens like every other day. I do not have a problem with you asking for help, we all need one another one way or another. My problem however, is in the fact that you push so hard to force a pitiful reaction to the point where the person feels forced to help you and not moved or willing. I don’t like that at all. Another thing I don’t like about this kind is that when you’re offered a way out of your problems, you most often reject them; opting for quick fixes that will last you till the next day you come with even more stories to tell of how unfortunate your life is. Get over yourself please.

People go through different situations in different forms; we should always be considerate of others and what they are going through before coming to dump our baggage on them. I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask for help! Like I said, we all need help at different points in our lives, as humans it is only right to help one another and the best part is the joy of doing so; it is so fulfilling. Help and also you will be helped, don’t be one who always wants to receive and when it is time to give, we have to hear how you lost your grandma at age 9. For those in the pity party, why do you seek the pity? Find the good in yourself and be happy about them. I feel that counting all your “loses” is rather ungrateful to God, especially when your blessings are so many and blinding with His light. Get rid of all the bitterness and you’ll be happier and like a miracle, things will get better. I just think we should all try to be happier with our lives and strive hard for something better. Even bitterness can keep you from achieving greater heights.

As always, please share your thoughts below. Lots of love!