Painful Truths

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Hi guys, hope you're all great. So, yes, my thoughts are somewhat disheveled. This is the only means I feel I can vent semi coherently. I have been ranting in my head for a while now and pushing the logical thoughts to put this down. Well, I’m here now, so let’s try figure this out together, shall we? Let's talk about Painful Truths...

The truth sometimes hurts; it takes real, mature, reasonable people to handle such painful truths. Granted, sometimes it hurts so bad, it pushes you to a side that makes you re-evaluate a lot of things. That’s where the reasonable part comes in, where you should put hurt aside and critically think about if the “truth” has any basis. Here, there are variables to consider, such as; the source-the person who was kind and brutal enough to dish out the truth, the truth itself-the painful discovery about what at this point the source thinks of you, the circumstances surrounding this truth-the trigger that made the source dish out the “truth”, and if you’re lucky enough to have the source lay out past events to back up his/her theory of the truth about you, then the last variable would be that, let’s call it the proof.

It is of my opinion that humans are generally selfish. I’ve seen this too much in my precious time here on planet earth to be convinced otherwise. Luckily for me, my selfishness has been pointed out to me on several occasions by my ever loving and mean family members. I tell them it is my birth right being a last born, other times when I’m genuinely pissed, I ignore them totally. However, being the reasonable person I know myself to be, I still do a self check, always! This is what I always tell people to do. People’s opinions of you don’t really matter, it is what you know and I mean really know about yourself that should matter. Now, I know some people can be totally oblivious to their short comings, again, a bit of narcissism and selfishness all scooped together. I know people like this, I have them in my life hence the re-emphasis on REASONABLE. Many times in the past, when my selfishness was pointed out to me, I did a self check and most if not all the time, they were right. I was truly spoilt without even realizing it. Since the realization, I have become very conscious of my ability to easily be selfish. This helps me to evaluate almost all of my actions. This may sound like a chore but I am thankful for this. It becomes very embarrassing when others out of the circle with the permission to diss you come out and actually throw your shit at your face. You may get all defensive but the truth is the truth and if you use defense mechanism to escape or nurture your bruised ego this time, you may not be so lucky in the future. You should want to be a better person for you and all that care about you and for those who would come into your life.

So back to the whole point; painful truths. Whenever someone, especially someone close to you ( the circle of those with the permission to point out your shit) says something about you which you consider nasty, upsetting, disappointing, infuriating, whatever ill feeling that comes with hearing painful truths, make sure you check all the listed variables.  I say people close to you because, there are people who know nothing about you yet have an opinion in 5 minutes of meeting you, I’m not talking about these kinds of people, although there’s no harm doing the self-check, just don’t let it worry you too much (well except the same thing is said by many others too, then there’s a problem).

Let’s discuss the variables; The Source: Who is this person telling you this, how much does he or she know about you, is this someone to consider a friend worthy to trust about evaluating you? Is this person a good observer of people, is this person a sadist, does this person always have something negative to say about everyone?

The Truth: What has this person said? Have you heard this before from someone else? Have you thought this about yourself? Does this come to mind when you do things?

The Circumstances: What made this source tell you this now? Is he/she pissed at you or someone else? Is this person in a bad mood? Where you having an argument? Did you do something that could have caused a misunderstanding to bring up such a thought? Did this come from nowhere? Did this come from a comparison to someone else or a tell tale that went like,” oh, you’re this way too”? Does this person get this way anytime there’s an argument of this sort, like a come back?

The Proof: Did the person list out other times where you portrayed the same trait? Did you know you were doing it at those times? Were those events similar in any way? Can you point out what really triggers you to bring out this trait?

In simple terms, be mature enough and reasonable enough to block out your hurt and defenses and just judge yourself as a third person to see if you really are what they say you are. Trust me, this is easier said than done. We humans love ourselves die, but this would save you future problems and embarrassments in different facets of life. It would really help you grow to be a mature, reasonable person, be it at work or in the home or wherever you may find yourself.

I’ve ranted enough for one night and I hope in some weird twisted way I have made some sense. All the best homies! You know the drill, meet me at the other side, expose me to a new world of YOU.