Confidence

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Aloha everyone. What’s popping? Anything new with you or your part of the world? Whatever it is, I hope it’s positive. There’s enough negativity in the world already, we could do with more positives. Anyways, let’s roll…

Do you remember how often your parents told you to be confident when growing up? I heard that so many times and trust me, I wasn’t the wimpy kind (you can’t be with the kind of family I have~ love you guys to pieces btw), but my dad especially, needed to remind me at every point that I’m a Princess who should fear no one, and it stuck J (maybe a little too much, but who cares?). These days, I see a lot of people lacking this very necessary tool for progress and plain survival.

We know the saying life isn’t fair right? Well, it’s true. No one is really looking out for you. Yes, we have family, friends, loved ones, blah blah blah, but there’s only so much they can do. They also have their lives to live. Don’t get too used to people standing up for you or holding your hands because when you find yourself in a situation where you are on your own, it will take a miracle to keep you from breaking down. Trust me, it’s not easy, especially for we lastborns (shout out to the lastborns, woo! woo!), who have been “pampered” by parents and siblings and feel totally dependent on these people. It is always advisable to learn to stand on your own. Thank God for boarding schools and university campuses. You may not know it, but these have helped big time. Somehow, it’s always easy to spot out the “mummy’s pikins” in school and as if nature has put a law that these ones should be tormented till they are as hard needed, you find that people pick on them, until one day, they can’t take it anymore and they stand up to their tormentors.  It’s just basic survival skill.

I think it’s important for parents to start teaching their children to be confident and look out for themselves from an early age. Let it grow on them. Also, give them the key to obtaining confidence in different aspects of their lives; be prepared, study to be confident enough for school/work tests/presentations and things like that. We need confidence in various areas of our lives; be it the school environment, work, relationships, you name it. You need confidence in yourself to be able to say; I can do this assignment that was given to me and actually do it yourself. You need confidence to be able to stand in front of a crowd and defend your project. You need confidence to sell that business idea or make that presentation to the potential investors. You need confidence to toast that babe, serious matter oh. You can’t come and be sweating around babe say you wan toast am, I piri you, it’s a total turn off (well, some people like it sha). You need confidence to tell her father you want to marry her oh, abi you don’t know? Hell, you as the babe sef need to have confidence in your man enough to make your dad believe all the wonderful things you say about him and start warming up to him.

Now, don’t go off and form confident baba or mama and go and misbehave oh. You know me I like to clear the air so there will be no confusions. Over confidence kills you, maybe even worse than low self esteem. What you don’t know, admit humbly that you don’t know. You will learn and grow. What you know you can’t do, because you lack the knowledge or skills, please say so. Do not let fear or sabi sabi make you fall into a pit you dug yourself. Moderation is key people!

I wouldn’t deny that I, sometimes find myself being “afraid or doubtful” in various situations. Sometimes these things happen, but we need to remind ourselves of whom we are, where we come from and what we’ve been through that has shaped us and equipped us enough to bring us to that very point. Chances are, you have all it takes to make it through.  Now, go get em!

Have any more confidence tips for us? Please, be confident and share J.